A list of Melancholy

A list of Melancholy
A Scene From ZNMD

Today two of my personalities will be on script. Emo Bhav and Philosophical Bhav and these two of my personalities will be talking about something super fun. Its certain that talking about it would fill you up with joy and drive away all the resentment and guilt. The topic is Heart breaks.

A lot of people have gone through heartbreaks. But I went through the liberty of ranking famous breakups into a Top-9 list.

#9 Meghna from Jane Tu Ya Jane Na

Meghna wrote a book on how to third wheel in your own relationship. Deserved better not going to lie.

#8 Sasuke

I don’t think there is a bigger loss than ending up with Sakura. For Non-Naruto fans, Sakura is basically like the South Bombay girls but more annoying. Almost an Ananya Pandey.

#7 Salman Khan

Sorry guys but if you do not know about bhai and his breakups, come out of the 120-year-old penance in the cave you were going through coz Brahma will not come up to you and grant a wish.

#6 All of Ranbir Kapoor’s girlfriends

Lets just say he has many. Would have to spend my entire 6 minutes here. But man knows how to break hearts. Dude probably has a start-up in place where freelancers break hearts of the target and thus unlocks a gym partner for their client.

#5 Rekha

I am sorry I am too young to know about this. Just googled famous break ups and found her on the list.

#4 Brad Pitt

The real life Ross. Gwyneth Paltrow, Jenifer Aniston and finally Angelina Jolie. He’s Single ready to get heartbroken again, hit me up if you are interested in my boy Brad.

#3 Johnny Depp

Dude was a victim of Hollywood Kangana Ranaut AKA Amber Heard. Do you remember during the pandemic when we used to play Among US and we were imposters, we would kill somebody, report it ourselves and be like OH MY GOD! who did this? Yeah, similarly Amber heard legit filed a case on my homie Depp. Loss at words here.

#2 Justin Bieber

Dude released like 46 songs asking Selena what he did wrong. I did the same thing to my math teacher when she refused to give me marks for my answers.

#1 Kanye

Pretty much self-explanatory.

So Lets think for a bit and use our remaining 0.75 neurons to analyse why these breakups happen.

And for that I present to you a parody of Farhan Akhtar’s Poem “Zinda ho tum” from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara:

Dilo mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho

Tho Zinda ho thum!

Agar zindagi mein apni zindagani chalis baar mili ho

Tho Bhatakti hui aatma ho thum!

Agar sirf ek mahine mein I love you bolthe ho

Tho Simp ho thum

Agar pyaar mein dosti nahi Gol roti dhundthe ho

Tho Arranged marriage karne wale ho thum

Agar career ke pehle pyaar rakhte ho

Tho Pradhan mantri berozgaar yojna ka recipient ho thum

Agar pyaar ke pehle anime rakhte ho

Tho aatmanirbhar ho thum.

Agar zindagi ke upar niche ko saat mein nibha sakte ho

Tho sirf Rom-com movie ke character ho sakte ho thum

If luck had something to do with love,

more often than not,

the Luck would be as good as Virat and his tosses.

Always be ready for the Limited edition, Uno reverse card

Called Abba nhi maanenge

Let me be honest,

What do I know?

I have no experience to talk about relationships,

Like Varun Dhawan doesn’t have any acting skills,

But that doesn’t stop him from acting.

That’s belief.

That’s Nepotism actually but that's a topic for another day.

People are weird, fluctuating and tough.

Do I think I’ll find the one?

Do I think I’ll find my Hermione?


But the only thing that’s constant is

Source: Mirzapur

To be a little more honest I hope you all find your Hermoines I’ll pray for y’all to not get an Umbridge nor good old Voldy. But IAS YAS bhi karlo living is expensive man.